Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Stepping Into the Light

I’m so grateful to be blogging right now.  This winter has been such a blessing - as hard as it’s been some days to feel all cooped up inside away from the cold - I love the solitude it’s granted. I have a lot on my mind...thinking about adulthood and overall, this day in age that we live in.  I saw a quote on Facebook months ago that said something like, “I’m at that point in life where I don’t even care if people like me anymore.  If you like me, cool.  If you don’t, okay.”  I’ve thought about that quote almost every day since!  

Being a primary president, or the president of any auxiliary in the church — it’s not for the faint of heart, especially when you actually care quite a bit about what other people think.  I’m not saying I do or I don’t.  I care about what my Maker thinks of me and how I treat His children, but regardless, I’m not the person I once was.  The Book of Mormon has been teaching me that leaders in the Lord’s kingdom must be meek and lowly of heart, yet full of strength to carry out His will.  Captain Moroni remained faithful, righteous, and strong at a time when death, suffering, and hatred were everywhere.  

I want to be true and faithful, completely honest — letting nothing compromise who I am inside, regardless of what a person will think of me as the result.  I appreciate the opportunity to work on this every day as I strive to feed His little lambs through my calling.

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Monday, January 16, 2017

Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Last night I had a dream that really inspired me.  

The events of the dream are somewhat irrelevant, but the feeling I had upon awakening was powerful.  The house was quiet and light…the kind of light that comes from day number who-knows-what of a complete winter wonderland outside, snowflakes falling softly, but swiftly, no indication of stopping.  

I guess the overall feeling I felt was love, so much in fact that it was tangible; a love that empowered me to see and feel my burdens for what they were, almost like a release from the reflection I’ve been seeing of myself, a glimpse of my greatest, happiest self...perhaps through the eyes of one who saw me unabatedly clean, feeling separated from the torment of vulnerability.

In the quiet of my reflection before getting out of bed, the melody of one of my favorite songs came streaming into my mind -- “Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?”  I’d never thought of that song before in terms of challenges, but I will say that the question posed a remarkable viewpoint - that of creating a beautiful canvas from all the twists and turns of life.  Not feeling acted upon, or slighted in the least, yet empowered to paint with all the colors that came my way...for this life is but a transitory step forward on our journey home.   

 

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Submission to Motherhood and Rocket

“Until I submitted my life and my heart to the demands of my little ones, I was never at ease or released to be at peace to enjoy my role as a mom; to live with grace through my years in my role as a mother.” - Sally Clarkson in Serving Without Resentment 

I am going to try really hard to capture the essence of our Summer thus far, but I’ve felt a little discombobulated as of late.  Maybe it’s the fact that all of us are ready for more of a routine.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’m wearing multiple hats right now.  The air has changed a bit, too - not so hot which is nice…but making me think about the busy season ahead and everything around the corner…school starting, the Primary Program, setting up pre-school for Gabe, and harvest (which is crazy town for Jared).  SOS!

Years ago I told a good friend of mine that motherhood was rarely peaceful for me.  I proceeded to tell her all the other things I was trying to juggle in addition to motherhood.  We concluded that full submission to motherhood would probably give us the greatest chance for obtaining peace...if we could tame ourselves enough to do so. Lol!

I suppose there’s some truth to that, but I’ve also discovered that involvement in other dimensions of life can be quite healthy, too.  I know it’s different for every woman, and I don’t judge.  Each woman has their own unique divine nature with opportunities for growth in other areas of life, too, and how grateful I am for that.

But for now, I’ll keep sporting the MOM crown and taking care of our new puppy, Rocket.        

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Puppy Love Forever.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Ride the Brand, Love the Land

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I found myself at yet another wonderful Salt Lake City seminar with my husband last month.  Typically the annual seminar is held every July, but it was earlier than normal this year.  Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, Young Women General President, spoke to the wives for the women's luncheon.  What an awesome afternoon it was!  It seemed as though there were about 100 of us present.  

She shared an interesting story about a group of wild horses who were trained to assist the workers in one of the Church’s first farmland developments back in the early 1900s.  She told about the horses' great contributions to the workload -  their fire, tenacity, and never-ending drive.  However, at the end of the day, they all had one major fault.  For some reason - as soon as the work was done for the day - they’d all want to rush back towards the island across the river where they came from.  The workers could hardly contain the horses from jumping in the river to swim back towards their home.  

She encouraged all of us ladies NOT to be like those wild horses, not to turn back…looking for something more.  We are to put away childish things…to be wives who embrace the land, ride the brand, and make home wherever we are...to create that peaceful haven for our husband’s to come home to after a long day’s work…to find joy in every day of this blessed journey.  

“No one leads a perfect or stress-free life.  No one.  The key to happiness is gratitude.  Seek daily divine intervention and be grateful.” - Sister Oscarson

The Florida segment created THIS AWESOME VIDEO (click here) that I love; it involves several of the gentlemen Jared works with and portrays the spirit of this great company.  Jared’s experience as General Manager of the Church-owned farms in Argentina was an experience we will always endear, and furthermore - what a blessing it is to continue to rub shoulders with our Argentine friends every year at this annual seminar!

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 ^^^ Monica & I at the Old Jerusalem site in Elberta, UT (the set for all recent Church Bible videos) ^^^  

A group of us women were able to tour this site during the seminar.  Being a dedicated site, we were asked to keep our photos sacred - but just note that the emphasis here is on how incredible it is that I’m able to reunite with Moni every year.  She is one of my dearest friends, and I love her.  Our conversations may be simple, but the love behind our words overrides any language barrier in our way.  Our hearts understand each other.  

AgriNorthwest (here in Washington) has been a great fit for us.  We anticipate being here for years to come, and I know the Lord has brought us here for a reason.  I’m happy for Jared and his choice career.  I love this company more each year and appreciate the added blessing of being under the umbrella of the Church.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Nurse Log

  One of the great blessings of conjoining with a new family is being able to rub shoulders with people I would’ve never known otherwise.  Brad has a first cousin named Amy who lost her husband a few years ago.  She is quickly becoming one of my heroes.  She shared this beautiful analogy on social media a few weeks ago.  I was deeply touched, and I find myself going back to her words again and again.  

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"I found this wonderful tree a couple weekends ago when I traveled to the Pacific Northwest and was hiking near Snoqualmie Falls (outside Seattle). This tree is a symbolic reminder for my life as a widow.

Do you see the old tree that died and how there are new trees growing around the old? The old tree that died is called a nurse log and gives nutrients to the new trees. The new trees can grow better from the nurse log rather than starting over in new ground. I was in awe of this forest with all of its many shades of green moss, ferns and leaves. This forest didn't stop when a tree died, it kept growing and adding to the forest and used the nutrients from trees that had come and gone.

I'm sure you see the symbolism. I'm 2.5 years out and I feel like I have learned and grown from this tragedy of losing my husband. I hope to keep becoming better and making something beautiful with this life instead of feeling like my life is over too. A beautiful life for me and my children is still in store even despite a huge loss in my forest."

  Some days I wake up feeling a bit overwhelmed, unsure of how to keep moving forward - but I, too, know that there is significant life in store, and I trust that my forest will be bigger and greener and more incredible than ever could’ve imagined as new growth emerges from nurse logs and time marches on.