Tonight after feeling like it’s been a long day, it dawned on me that I’ve been feeling that way every single night for many years. :)
Sometimes the years are long, too…and that’s okay.
When I think about the amount of change I’ve been through over the past four years, I recognize God’s hand through it all - helping me, guiding me, comforting me.
Two months ago I joined our Stake Relief Society Christmas Choir. We meet every Thursday morning for one hour, nursery provided. It’s been a great opportunity thus far - I haven’t been in a choir for years! It’s taken me back to my college days when I was in the BYU-I Women’s Chorus. We had a glorious sound, I must say, and I’ve marveled not just at how that was nearly 15 years ago, but that once upon a time I had not only an hour to myself every day, but entire days to myself. And as long as we’re being honest here - not just days, but YEARS! It’s incredible to think this once was so.
I know this sounds horrible, but I use to feel a little bad for people who had more than three kids and wondered, “How does this woman keep her sanity or give adequate time to each child?”...and truth be told, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t question my own sanity or have an, “I cannot do this” moment. The whirlwind of my life is unique right now, and the burdens of responsibility are taking a toll.
However, I read an analogy tonight that brought comfort…"barely lifting one foot from the mucky waters only to have it drop right back in again is where we discover the beauty of trust.” Trust, I might add, in a Heavenly Father who knows I need Him, so that when I do have those moments of “I cannot do this,” I’ll trust that I can...but only with Him.