Sometimes I remember what life felt like before a tragedy, and sometimes I wish for that life back. It’s so amazing how life’s experiences prepare us for heartache though. I believe God carefully prepares us for the trials we must face in life…but when the storms rage, we ultimately show Him what we’re made of.
Little by little I see the power in trials. We begin to see ourselves as God sees us. We learn to see life for what it is and what really matters. We’ll all go through some very scary things in life. Things that don’t make a whole lot of sense. Things that break us. Things that make us wonder why and how. I’ve always believed wholeheartedly that there is equality in the testing process...and it's because God loves us that much.
I am not ashamed to say that no man I've ever met was my father’s equal. My dad drove a beat up brown bomb and had holes in his shoes so that I could have piano lessons and go to dance class. He made me feel like I was worth every bit of it, too. He trained me musically and taught me how to be good & descent to other people. He cried a little every time we said goodbye and reminded me that he’d miss me every day 'til our next hello.
I discovered this snippet today and couldn’t believe how much it related to everything I’ve been feeling this week. I’m not always sure where I’m at in the healing process - I’ve come a long ways - but I have hope that someday the raw pain that often catches me off guard won’t affect me so much. I’m still working towards getting passed that part I think.